An Alien Encounter

Rifling through my old stuff up in Sydney I came across a pair of old English journals from Year 9 and Year 7. What follows is the first story from my Year 9 English journal from good ol' Q-Town High School.

First you can read the full story and then I'll go into my analysis.

It's entitled An Alien Encounter and was written on the 4/2/1998 (yeah, that's right, before Wikipedia mother fuckers.)

One day night there was a man walking home from work, And all of a sudden it started raining. For some reason no one could explain the man just started walking across a corn field insted of by the road. The man walked to the the middle of the corn field and stopped. He crouched down and started pilling small stones and pebbles into a small pyramid after he did this he got up and walked diagonally six paces from the pyramid. He them crouched down and repeated what he had just done until there was the pyramid in the middle and anouther pyramid six paces away from each of the first ones points. The man then placed his watched & his ring next to the original pyramid as some sort of offering. The man then walked away from the site and back to the highway. and Then the man continued his jouney home.

The next morning the owner of the corn field was plowing his field when he stopped plowing abrubtly. He had noticed that nead the centre of this field the was were circles burnt into the corn. The farmer jumped from his tractor & ran to the center of the circle there he stubbled over a small pile of stones bending down to see what was there. Even though it had rained the night before the ground in the centre of the circle was dry. In the dry mud he found footprints leading from the centre pile. The footprints led to a mark in the ground wich look as if a ramp had been lowered in to the ground. The Farmer go back on his tractor and drove back to the his house and rang the police. The police arrived later & explained to the farmer that it was probally a prank pulled by kids and that they had nothing to worry about, but the farmer wasn't so sure. His wife was frightened so they decided to sell the farm and live in the city.

I'd like to congratulate myself on the use of two whole paragraphs. Before you start thinking that I have any kind of crazy twisted imagination to come up with the idea of a man building stone pyramids and offering up his ring and watch to aliens I stole it from an old episode of Unsolved Mysterys. Yeah, you won't find that in my bibliography.

One day night

Yeah, better go with the night, that's when the magic happens. At night.

there was a man walking home from work. And all of a sudden it started raining.

Holy crap burgers! He was walking home from work, at night, and then BAM! out of the blue, rain. AND NOBODY SAW IT COMING?

For some reason no one could explain the man just started walking across a corn field insted of by the road.

I'm sure there was somebody who could explain, maybe if we asked the man, but then that would need further character development like, oh I don't know, giving the guy a name, or an occupation.

The man walked to the the middle of the corn field and stopped.

He stopped, and wondered, 'hey why don't I buy myself a car, that would save me having to walk home in the dark past all these corn fields.'

He crouched down and started pilling small stones and pebbles into a small pyramid

Oh, it was one of those corn fields that are literally scattered with stones and pebbles. Nothing helps corn grow like planting them in a rock garden.

after he did this he got up and walked diagonally six paces from the pyramid.

Walk diagonally six paces, then use a tea spoon full of salt, not too much mind you, and then there you have it, build a second pyramid.

He them crouched down and repeated what he had just done until there was the pyramid in the middle and anouther

AnoUther, ahh, the classic British spelling of Another. That's how the Americans spell it. Without the 'u'.

pyramid six paces away from each of the first ones points.

'each of the first ones points.' Yeah way to understand what you were writing 14 year old me.

The man then placed his watch & his ring next to the original pyramid as some sort of offering.

So Captain Narrator knows that it's 'some sort of offering' but other than that hey he aint go no clue. There was a man. He built some pyramids. What do you want me to know about it? I'm just telling the story!

The man then walked away from the site and back to the highway. and

Wait, no that's probably the end of the sentence. Let's cross out the and.

Then the man continued his jouney home.

Home to where? Can you think of a town name? No? You can't can you fourteen year old me. You saw this on last nights episode of Unsolved Mysteries and all you've managed to remember was how it creeped you out a guy built pyramids for no reason. Yeah, well way to capture the tension of that moment in this story.

The next morning the owner of the corn field was plowing his field when he stopped plowing abrubtly.

"Hold on a second!" Unknown owner man said. "I'm the OWNER of this here corn field, I could get others to do my plowing."

He had noticed that nead the centre of this field the was were circles burnt into the corn.

Take that M. Night Shyamalan this is my Signs.

The farmer jumped from his tractor & ran to the center of the circle there he stubbled over a small pile of stones bending down to see what was there.

Wait. He what? He jumped down. Ran to the center of a empty clearing and still managed to stumble over a small pile of stones WHILST bending down to look at them?

Even though it had rained the night before the ground in the centre of the circle was dry.

When did it rain? Now you're giving us the rain details. Last night I'm pretty sure the man, whoever he was, made it home from whatever job it is he works at and he was still dry. But maybe it was an early shower.

In the dry mud he found footprints leading from the centre pile.

"Holy crap! It would appear that somebody else has stubbled over this pile!"

The footprints led to a mark in the ground wich look as if a ramp had been lowered in to the ground.

"Hmm, these small indents in the mud. Looks like a ramp was lowered here..."

The Farmer go back on his tractor and drove back to the his house and rang the police.

"Officer please come quick I think somebody may have lowered a ramp!"

The police arrived later & explained to the farmer that it was probally a prank pulled by kids

Yeah! It was probably those McCallister kids! They're always building stone pyramids and leaving ramp marks everywhere!

and that they had nothing to worry about, but the farmer wasn't so sure. His wife was frightened so they decided to sell the farm and live in the city.

...

That's it? It's a story about how a farmers wife got scared of a circle in their crops and they moved to the city?

Where's the aliens? The story is entitled An Alien Encounter and unless the aliens arrived on earth in the shape of ramp marks, there were no aliens in that story and nobody encountered anything.

It should have been entitled 'The Story Of The Man Who Walked Home, Piled Some Rocks In A Field And Scared A Farmer's Wife So Much That They Had To Move House'.